This week marked the one year anniversary of sending our first long time placement home. I wanted to repost some of our thoughts from that time as the truth still exists.
Some things were not what I expected. We have not had any contact with the family since reunification. While we tried to build a positive relationship I think that emotions were too raw and they needed to move on as quickly as possible.
The sadness did hit. It hit in waves long after the fact. It hit this week on the date. It hit on his birthday. It hit on the anniversary of our first “investigation.” I found myself up again at night worried they were going to take away our current placement. Terrified our current amazing case worker was going to leave and we would end up with a not so great one again.
Time is a funny thing.
I was starting to get a little fidgety. We knew that our little guy had a home to go to and we’ve spent the last 6 months trying desperately to build a relationship with his Mom. We fought for this. We recommended and complained and communicated how much this guy needs to go home.
It felt like we weren’t making progress. That Mom was just going to keep skating. But tonight, tonight we got the call.
My reaction was relief. Excitement. Peace.
But not sadness. Not yet.
I know that it should seem sad. I know I will be sad. It’ll hit at a random time. Maybe the quietness of the house. Maybe the feeling of forgetting something when we go on a field trip. Maybe when I find that lost sock or wash a random shirt too small for anyone else in the house.
But for every one kid we take into our home, there are countless more that need a safe place. Opening up our bed allows for another heart to love on and family to embrace.
That’s what we signed up for. What we knew when we said “yes.”
So now that we are transitioning our little guy home, now that it’s happening in the next week, I guess all I can say is that, well, it’s just time.
How can you support us?
I’m not really sure yet. When we said goodbye to Ms. S it was so very different. Also expected, but quicker. Mr. I will most likely stay in touch. I’m sure we’ll get some pictures and we get to give him a great send off.
Don’t be afraid to say you are sad if I may not be. Don’t be afraid to remind me of all of the points I just made if I end up being sad for a while. It’s ok to ask how he’s doing.
I’m looking forward to being a “normal” family for a little while and regrouping before we head into the next adventure.
Thank you guys for supporting us this far. For listening to the drama. For loving on the little guy with us. For giving him a chance to do awesome things. The clothes, the toys, the baby supplies. They all matter and we haven’t forgotten. We know it’s a lot to ask of you guys. Please know that we can’t do any of this without you. There will be more kids and more needs and it will feel like you just gave us stuff yesterday. I know. We know. So thank you.
All Great Things are Wound up with All Things Little
L.M. Montgomery in Anne of Green Gables
This was by far one of the most popular posts of last year. I said thank you already, but thank you again.
Time will go on. We are learning to embrace the sadness- not bury it. To find joy. To choose joy in every little moment. Wherever it may exist. You’ll find a whole mess of it the moment you start looking.